INFJ

You Are an Introverted Intuitive

Wanted: An imaginative, inspired, tenacious, creative, driven, inwardlooking person. OK if a bit stubborn, unrealistic in evaluating obstacles to achievement of personal goals, and easily bored by routine work.

That job must be for you, or for another introverted intuitive!

As a judging type, you make decisions easily, giving you the image of being a totally self-confident and individualistic thinker. You draw your view of the way things are from within, from your "inner eye" to reality: your intuition.

More than any other type, you live in a world of pure ideas, a sea of concepts and associations so unique to your mind that no one else may share your vision. And that's all right with you. You do not need permission or understanding from the world in order to trust in your own intuitive process.

Some of history's greatest inventors and researchers have shared your kind of calm trust in their own ideas—and so have some of the world's most outrageous crackpots!

Perhaps that strong, and sometimes stubborn, sense of independence is built into the early childhood experience of those with your personality. Consider the numbers alone. When you were growing up, three-fourths of the children were extraverts, and you were in the minority. For every four kids, only one's perception was based on intuitive, rather than sensing, information. In fact, the best guess today is that only one percent of the population shares your particular personality profile.

Without getting into the chicken-egg question of whether your early personality built your childhood experiences or vice-versa, it's easy to see that introverted intuitives learn very young in life that they are different. Others with personalities like your own tell heart-breaking stories of childhood loneliness and feelings of rejection and isolation—both enforced and selfselected—and of missing some of the shared experiences of others in their neighborhood or school. You're not alone if you had to deal with an early environment which did not nurture your individuality or recognize your unique approach to reality.

So if you're a bit of a loner now, deeply and perhaps stubbornly introspective, and a bit oblivious to the criticism or rejection of others, understand that as an adaptive response to having such a unique personality. You know that being different doesn't mean that you're inferior.

Clearly, there can be problems associated with this kind of individualism if you follow that logic through to the extreme conclusion that it's the rest of the world that's defective.

You focus on the possible, develop plans to bring your ideas into practice, and turn all of your energy toward achieving your goal, regardless of any obstacles which may get in your way. In fact, you ignore the obstacles.

Maybe it's because the world "out there" is not where your best reality lies, but—for whatever reason—you tend not to evaluate opposition realistically. You really do believe of yourself and your abilities: "The difficult I do immediately; the impossible takes a little longer."

When evidence begins accumulating that there may, in fact, be something wrong with one of your pet ideas, or when changing realities make it essential that you revise your notions or try a different approach to solving your problems, you may just filter out the unwanted information. Critics? You may tune them out or discredit them for lacking your sense of vision. (What do they know, anyway?)

Your challenge, of course, lies in maintaining that dynamic drive and commitment to your goals at the same time you exercise your little-used ability of sensing: checking reality out with your five senses to assess what is going on in the hard-facts world of the here and now.

Your perceptive abilities, too, may need some help from time to time to make you more open to the opinions and advice of others. You may find that you need to expend some energy developing a sense of reality and slowing down your decision-making process.

By turning your judging ability inward from time to time, you will be able to eye your own work objectively, see problems before they arise, and decide in advance what to do in case of difficulties.

As an introvert, you probably invest your time, energy, and affection in only a few people, measuring friendships by depth and longevity, rather than by breadth or number.

Since you naturally value inner processes over external signs, you probably demand little overt reciprocation of your feelings and little active contact with friends in order to perpetuate a relationship. When a friend really needs you, you'll be there: this year, next year, ten years from now. That's the way friendship operates among introverts, especially among introverts who favor feeling over logic.

You tend to form a kind of quiet, intense, devoted friendship which awes your extraverted friends. They can't understand it. Frankly, you do not understand an extravert's concept of friendship, either. To you, their affiliations seem shallow, fleeting, and devoid of long-term personal commitment.

When it comes to friendship and love, it's apparent that introverts and extraverts speak different languages using common terms.

Because it's your assertive and decisive judging side which forms the basis of your "outer" personality, you must give it a chance to function socially, since even the best ideas are rarely implemented unless they are promoted, explained, and sold to the world. Depending on the extent of your introversion, this may be a difficult task—a strain on your tendency to seek out peace, privacy, and solitude. But learning interpersonal skills is essential if you are to make your mark and realize your visions. Your Auxiliary Process As an introvert, your strongest process-intuition-rules your inner world of thoughts and ideas. Your less preferred process of feeling is left to guide your judgment and to "run the store"—deal with the outer world of people and things. Thus, your extraversion is that of feeling-type person.

Let's consider some ways your feeling nature may interact with your other personality features to make you the unique and complex personality you are.

The combination of intuition with feeling forms the very cornerstone of your personality: a temperament we call the EMPATHIST.

Taken together, intuition and feeling mold the idealist and truth-seeker, one whose main quest in life lies within and is directed toward achieving personal peace and integration. A goal for your temperament is acceptance, but more than that: acceptance as you really are—no mask, no pretense, no facade. Being genuine, sincere is what matters to you.

Relationships are a crucial focus for the EMPATHIST. You seek to understand others deeply and to have that understanding reciprocated with loving acceptance. You dedicate your total self—time, energy, patience, and sensitivity—to relationships. You do not reveal yourself to people casually. It takes time and trust for you to open up completely and—once exposed—you may find yourself vulnerable to hurt if your caring is not reciprocated. You are often disappointed, for few understand your concept of knowing another, and fewer still are capable of achieving the kind of interpersonal connection you want.

Significance of relationships is a key issue for you, but so is significance of your work, significance of yourself, your personal impact on others and the world.

You are always searching for hidden meaning and motivation in others' behavior. That can be a tremendous benefit if you choose a career in a ministerial or counseling field. In persuasive writing, too, you know instinctively how to reach people, how to communicate your vision with clarity. You are better able than any other personality type to express sentiment and to move people with your communication.

There is a strong element of the mystical in your personality. It has been said that parapsychological phenomena—ESP, clairvoyance and the like—occur most commonly with people like yourself. Perhaps the key is that the intuitive-feeling person is attuned to sources of knowledge others commonly ignore.

You have a sweeping awareness of time and history in all you do. You have respect for the past, for tradition. You experience the moment. You look toward the future. And you sometimes can do all three at once. Yours is the personality of the visionary.

You trust your intuition, and you are willing to act at an instinctual level. You somehow sense good and evil in people and situations, and you are willing to make value judgments on the basis of ethereal data which totally baffle other personality types. You rarely can trace by a clear, logical, welldefined sequence how you derive your insight about life, but your experience validates your judgment more often than not.

Creativity is your hallmark, and you are a true perfectionist when it comes to your work: your mission. You see what you do as an extension of who you are, and—just as you strive toward the perfection of yourself—you are almost driven to do your best at any task you undertake. You envision a perfect job, an ideal design, a perfect document, an excellent communication or interaction. You believe that your ideal is attainable.

As an introvert, trying to survive happily in a sea of people may be exhausting and draining. But, as a feeling person, living and working without people would be unimaginable.

You will find your greatest comfort by compromising: dealing with others, closely, intimately, mostly in small cooperative groups or one-on-one. In either case, the personal element will always be important in all you do.

Your empathy is so great that you can recognize the physical and emotional ups and downs, moods and cycles of people around you—even those you do not know well. In close friends, you may sense their pain and frustration be-fore they do. When you wish, you have the ability to penetrate another's shell and move into their reality.

This almost psychic ability to try on other identities is the key to your interpersonal power, as well as the secret of great acting, and you may use this talent—consciously or unconsciously—every day. As a writer or performer, this chameleon ability arms you well to become the characters you deal with.

Harmony is essential for you in your working environment, and you endeavor to promote peace and cooperation around you. You know the value of appreciation and you are a master of the well-placed compliment and the encouraging pat on the back.

You are responsive to praise yourself, despite your independent air. You can feel worn down when you find yourself in a living or working situation which forces you to contend with continual hostility and criticism. If your interpersonal world becomes a miserable place, you may experience personal paralysis, lose your usual enthusiasm and self-confidence, and even succumb to stress-related disease.

A pervasive sense of justice in personal relations marks both your giving and your expectations. You offer a great deal: a sympathetic ear, genuine empathy and understanding, compassion. You guide your life and your day-to-day behavior by a strong value system, and you tend to expect the same of others.

Righteous indignation is a common snare for those with your personality characteristics, but it's important to point out that you don't demand any more of others than you do of yourself.

The dilemma of interpersonal relationships for folks like yourself is the tendency to take everything personally.

You may find that you tend to measure others' behavior by a personal yardstick which says: "If the situation were reversed, I would (or wouldn't) do that to (or for) that person!" The feeling part gets hurt, the intuitive part lets the hurt spring from both real and imagined insults and injuries, the judging part gets angry and defines the problem to be the other guy's, and the introvert bottles up the feelings and sulks—or explodes, when the silence is no longer bearable. If you should notice this pattern emerging from time to time, you may wish to consider strategies to help you temper these self-destructive feelings.

First, remind yourself that others simply don't share your high degree of sensitivity. Chances are good that the hurt was unintentional. People rarely engage in the intentional infliction of pain. It's too much trouble. So, give the benefit of doubt. Assume that whoever hurt you did so by accident.

Now, what can you do to shape others' behavior to what you want or need from them? It's not likely that either your silent smoldering pain or your plaintive outbursts of anguish are going to have much positive impact on anyone.

Use your talent of artful appreciation instead. You can be far more effective by pointing out how much you enjoy or admire a sensitive quality in someone else, or how much you appreciate intermittent gestures of kindness. Then your friend, mate, colleague or partner has the opportunity to change to please you, rather than to stop displeasing you.

In familial relationships, the feeling-intuitive is usually devoted, both as a mate and parent. You are concerned that your home be a safe and harmonious place. You are attentive to the physical and emotional comfort and health of your family, and you may dote on those you love, especially your children.

Parenting may bring together the full expression of your intuition, feeling, and judging. As a parent, you probably tend to value discipline, but you try, always, to temper it with affection. You seek a perfect relationship with your offspring. Your empathy with your children may be so great as to approach the mystical: you breathe in synchrony; you share one spirit.

The natural ups and downs of rearing kids may be especially rewarding and painfully crushing to you. You care so deeply about the role of parent that you may set yourself up for disappointment and feelings of failure.

Turn that kindness you offer the rest of the world back on yourself. Give yourself a break. Developing a sense of realism in relationships is often a difficult task for feeling-intuitives, but it is worth the effort. The ideal is a worthwhile goal, but neither you nor anyone else is likely to achieve it. Cel-ebrate your successes, acknowledge your shortcomings, and love yourself as you are.

The Introverted Intuitive in the World of Work

Your introverted nature needs peace in order to work most comfortably. Working in concert with your feeling nature, your introversion will lead you toward work which has a measure of tranquility and personal harmony.

When your intuition wants to take you off onto a new quest, and when your judging side wants to rush into some action or decision, ill-prepared, count on your introversion to slow down the process and make time for contemplation. More so than an extravert, you'll tend to pay attention to details and avoid drawing sweeping conclusions from your work.

When a project demands working long hours without a break, your introversion may override impulsive, impatient intuition and provide you with the patience and tenacity you need. As an introvert, you will tend to take pride and interest in your job, especially if you are kept in touch with the ideas behind your assignments.

You prefer a quiet working environment, and—despite your feeling-side's attraction for human companionship—you'll often find you work best when working alone. When you're at the peak of your concentration, you're happiest if the telephone never rings and no one ever intrudes or interrupts your train of thought.

As an introvert, it's natural for you to feel overwhelmed if your work requires you to deal superficially with a large number of people. You may observe yourself in a kind of social exhaustion when your verbal fluency declines and your ability to associate names with faces is impaired.

Intuitive workers, such as yourself, are in their glory when the work is challenging and novel. When you're inspired, you fire up your furnaces and work with a level of energy and exuberance that staggers the imagination of your sensory-type co-workers. A new task at hand? A new technique or skill to master? No problem for you. You will find the time to tackle the most difficult problem and unravel the most complicated situation.

Then things settle down. You stifle a yawn, while your frazzled co-workers sigh with relief. While you yearn for the next challenge, they make no effort to disguise their earnest hope that routine (blessed routine) is re- established as soon as possible.

Then, one morning, sure as death, you wake up, staring blankly at the ceiling, and you know you've been stricken, once again, by the insidious dark side of the intuitive enthusiasm: boredom. You try to fight it, and you deny it to your friends and enemies alike, but the fact is: you know you don't want to go to work. Your energy's gone, your spirit's flat, and, once again, you realize you've fallen into one of your slack periods.

Can you use your introversion and judging to temper these downswings? Some with your personality constellation manage to do so. If not, you may just have to accept the fact that your intuitive nature makes you cyclic: hot and cold, up and down.

If you understand this aspect of your personality, acknowledge it with the same acceptance you feel for the high-energy, problem-solving ability that also comes with intuition, then you may be able to pull out of your downtimes with a bit more style and grace.

And even if you can't modify your behavior, once you understand it as the natural "flip-side" of the part of you you love best, then maybe you can find a job whose nature is short-project oriented, an employer who understands your cyclic nature, and enough stable, well-grounded co-workers to cover those other segments of your personality that haunt you in the work place.

You know the parts I mean: your tendency to hop from hunch to hunch, your habit of not paying enough attention to detail-work, or your inclination to worry too little about completing projects or checking your work to be free from errors of fact.

If and when you find that job, or that employer, or those co-workers, you'll be valued for the glittering bundle of intuition you provide as a spark to the humdrum of everyday work life. Otherwise, you may be regarded as a flighty nuisance: a judgment which shouldn't get you depressed, now that you know its origin.

You know, just because you're enlightened enough to appreciate both the "bright" and "dark" sides of your personality, that doesn't necessarily mean that the rest of the world will share your open acceptance. There will be times when you will have to face rejection, even open hostility, in order to remain your own best friend.

Your judging tendency will have a major impact on your behavior in the work place. Be aware that your personality type tends to set up psychological blinders, and that they can function both to your advantage and disadvantage.

On the one hand, you are good at filtering out extraneous information, so that you can focus on the critical issues to formulate plans, settle conflicts and wrap up deals with a minimum of delay.

On the other hand, you may restrict the flow of information too closely to what you consider to be "the essentials," and, by so doing, commit yourself too early to a solution. Worse yet, your tendency to be satisfied with yourself once you have decided on any course of action may make it impossible for you to recognize at an early stage when a mistake in judgment has occurred.

It's not unusual for judging people to find it difficult to interfere with their own plans: to shift gears, to interrupt one project for a more urgent one which emerges. From time to time, this tendency may rear its head, as you fail to notice new things that need to be done, after you've already set your sights on some other objective.

You value sentiment over logic, in the work place, as in all other aspects of your life.

You are very sensitive to other people's feelings and needs. You praise others' accomplishments, lend a sympathetic ear to their problems, and you try to avoid being the bearer of bad news or criticism.

Your feeling side can make it difficult to be a supervisor. You care too much about being well liked and respected to be objective and impersonal in appraising others' performance on the job. Reprimanding an employee you like is painful, and the prospect of firing someone, without respect for the personal consequences to the employee's family, would be extremely difficult for you.

Even in situations which threaten your sentimental nature less directly, you may often have to battle your tendency to be tactful when the unvarnished truth is needed.

Your need for acceptance may nudge you into acquiescence when your independent judgment is called for. In an effort to get along with others, you may let your decisions be swayed by the group spirit, or by personal considerations which might better be ignored in the interests of impartiality.

You are so keenly aware of others' feelings that the ordinary politics of most business endeavors causes you anguish and concern. Your working ability— attitude as well as efficiency—can be crippled by an obvious office feud. You need harmony to work happily and well.

Let's look more directly at the issue of career choice for your unique combination of these characteristics.

The extent to which introverted intuitives succeed in their chosen field of work is often related to how well they develop their social skills: their extraversion. Assuming that you develop an effective and protective personal mask to wear in the working world, many opportunities are open.

You would be happy in a number of people-professions, including counseling, the ministry, or any work involved in human welfare. Technical fields are not ruled out for those with your personality type, particularly if your interest runs high for the work—and if you are able to exercise your ability to deal with people or human values as a natural part of the job.

Academically, introverted intuitives are often achieving students, typically inclined toward a liberal arts education, and frequently settling down professionally as teachers and professors in the humanities. Your personality type often has an impressive gift for language, and many folks like yourself gravitate toward work fields revolving around the artful use of the written word. Even if you are not inclined toward writing the great American novel or penning moving poetry, a more down-to-earth calling in public relations or advertising may be your cup of tea.

Whatever field of work you choose, it is critical—perhaps most critical for your personality of all the types—to pay attention to the interpersonal climate of your working world. Take care of yourself. Nurture yourself. Protect yourself from avoidable stress, or the flower of your creativity will never reach its full blossom.